Okay. I have been pondering this post for awhile now, but I never seem to get around to it between my other job, my new cat, and endless TV binging. It’s all I can do right now, to be honest.
Sessions and Thoughts
Though sometimes I actively ignore my photo feed, I do think of photography (dream about it really) and my wonderful clients, and I’m sad that I cannot do any sessions right now. And I don’t expect to be able to until the Fall – and that’s if we’re lucky. Look. There is ongoing debate in the photographer community on whether to offer distance sessions or “front porch” sessions that have gained popularity. And I’m staying home. The cases keep increasing and we’re not close to being “over.” As of this writing, there have been 146,000 deaths worldwide stemming from COVID-19. The US has 30,000 of those. People in my community. People in yours. I have family who is immunocompromised. Dear friends. I myself am in a weird “maybe” category. I live next to a toddler and her parents. I cannot – cannot – justify holding any non-essential meetings with people right now, however far apart we are. And I hate that! I really do. At least as much as you do, and I am lucky: I have another daytime job that is keeping me paid and employed during this bizarre, difficult time, and I have enough held over from last year that I will be okay this year. I’ve used some of that to donate to local foodbanks and restaurant staff. Once a week (or two) I try to support other local, small businesses who are open with lunch and dinner (and sometimes donuts). Mask on, wipe it all down, mask off. Wash hands. Wash hands. Repeat. All this to say: I’m trying, and so are you, and I’m going to stay home.
Hope and Gratitude
I do believe there’s hope, from people showing compassion around the world to scientists learning more and creating a vaccine. I’ve been keeping a daily gratitude journal throughout all this and so often, my family and friends are at the center of what I’m grateful for every single day. That and the technology to be able to see them – amazing what video does to make you feel less alone. When I do go outside, I’m incredibly grateful for the feel of sun and wind on my face, for the flowering trees in my neighborhood.
When I’m not working or talking with friends and family, I’ve been re-watching Bones, and picked up Call the Midwife again sometime in the first season. My Mom recommended Broadchurch last night, so I’m now hooked on that. Sometimes I watch Grey’s Anatomy or Little Fires. It’s definitely been a comfort-rewatch setup here typically, though I know there is tons of new TV and endless shows. (Can you actually finish Netflix?!). I cried laughing at a John Mulaney comedy special, after crying from watching Inside Out. I had a lovely cultured evening at the Globe watching Hamlet from my couch, and keep meaning to try that again, but it’s back to Bones I go. Occasionally I read Harry Potter aloud to my cat, Ziti, but so far he has shown little interest.
365 Photo Progress
When I’m not going in tangents like I am right now, I’ve been keeping fairly steady with my 365 project. Sometimes that means it’s 11pm by the time I remember and snap a pic, but I have been working on it every day. Sometimes I can’t wait to see what really turned out and I edit it right away, other times I know what it is and wait to edit for several days. I take a wide variety of pictures and can tell I’m already flexing some muscle on setting ISO, aperture and shutter speed before clicking and improving my memory knowledge. Here’s a smattering of the project so far:
Like most of you, I am bored and I am anxious and I am sad and I am grateful. I am Zooming with friends and having virtual social hours with my colleagues. I talk to my family much more than I did before and sometimes it’s wonderful and sometimes it hurts because I can’t know when I’ll see them again and I start spiraling into anxiety. But most of the time, it’s really lovely to talk to them and get frequent updates about their activities and thoughts. We’re all processing so much, and it impacts each of us a little differently, or a lot differently. Two friends have hosted virtual baby showers, and I’ve loved seeing the creativity in the world amidst this pandemic. It’s important to find laughter where you can!
My cat Ziti has been with me about a month now and my initial new-pet-parent freak-out has subsided and he really does bring me joy, calm, laughter. He also helps me with routines, because he demands it, as he should. The couch and blanket on it is his now (one of them is super soft and he loves to knead it). He also has a pretty tall tower that he’s been having a fabulous time exploring and playing on. And of course, watching birds from.
I hope you are as well as can be expected, and your family and friends are safe and healthy. If there is anything I can do for you from afar, please reach out. It is all too easy to feel all alone, but you aren’t: we’re all in this.
Now, have some cat content!